A Thousand Years
by sydneysages
Summary: "What exactly is it that you want to hear me say? That I've loved you for ten years, that I'll probably love you till the day I die, that I wish that you had chosen me over Owen? That no matter what, I'll do anything to protect you?" - Ric and Diane, in the operating theatre. / An amendment to the last scene in series 9, episode 34.


An alternative ending to the last scene in Series 9, Episode 34. (With some changes to the dialogue). This is my first Holby City fic (and pretty much my first fic in months)

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She's angry – more than angry really, incandescent with rage – and she has every right to be. She's a brilliant surgeon, caring and compassionate to all, and can handle just about anything thrown at her – and yet she's been thrown to the wolves to try and disguise the failings of others and the issue with underfunding in the NHS. It's been a bad day, she'll admit that freely, but everyone has bad days, right? Just usually, there's someone there to defend your questionable decisions and your character.

And then there's Ric.

She doesn't want to do overdramatic – she generally leaves that to Jac, after all – but there's something of Romeo and Juliet in their relationship. From pre-Holby to now, there's always, always, _always_ something between them…but there's also something in their way. From Sam to Danny, to Owen to her attempts to move on, and now to Thandie – there's always someone there. Always someone waiting to find a way between the formerly impenetrable force that was Ric and Diane.

As she stands in the operating theatre which she knows so well – from the height of the ceiling, to the way that the walls don't quite form a proper square – she wonders whether life will ever go her way again. No matter what she said to her patient on AAU, is there really something better round the corner? She's under supervision, Ric's engaged to an incompetent doctor who knows just how to rub Diane up the wrong way, and her life seems to be falling to pieces. Hell, she can't even keep hold of her own car!

As her hand runs over the bench upon which the sterile instruments rest during an operation, Diane's struck with the thought that, maybe, there's nothing better. Maybe life will just get worse and worse until she's completely unrecognisable, until there's nothing but shreds of her former life left. Maybe it's time to just let it all go, to use the scalpel she wields so well on herself.

She's interrupted from her melancholy internal dialogue by Ric clearing his throat. She's known he's been standing behind her for a while, she just doesn't particularly want to speak to him. After all, what's left to say? He's already made it clear that she's in his past, and that he won't defend her against Thandie, let alone Professor Currie.

"You're safe to emerge. Robespierre has left the building – Lord Byrne's wining and dining him, probably to try and emerge victorious in their longterm feud," Ric begins, his tone jovial.

Diane turns around to see he's smiling. He's actually smiling! He's played a huge part in the destruction of her career and her confidence – and he's _smiling at her!_

She can't help herself. She thought she'd said everything she needed to say earlier, in his office, but there's more.

"Do you think I'm an incompetent surgeon?" She spits out, feeling an evil flicker of pleasure inside as she watches the smile slip from his face. "Is _that_ why you wouldn't defend me with Professor Currie, and landed me with _Jac_ supervising? Or is it just that you only defend the people you're going to sleep with?" She takes even more pleasure watching as Ric's face betrays his shock.

He takes a step towards her just as she steps back, feeling her legs collide with the firm operating table. Feeling it under her grasp gives her confidence that her anger is justified – she _belongs_ in this operating theatre.

"Diane, don't be ridiculous. You know that I think you're one of the best surgeons I've worked with, I'm just worried about you," Ric replies, his tone more sober now. He's trying to calm her down, he's done this a thousand times, but it isn't working. Not today.

"If you're so worried about me, why didn't you call? You went away for four months, you _promised_ to keep in touch, but nothing! You didn't even tell me you were coming back – let alone that you'd managed to find yourself another Mrs-Griffin-to-be!" She's not sure where this outburst comes from, but it feels good to say it; it's been bothering her for so long that it almost feels like she's letting part of herself go.

Ric takes another step towards her and, this time, Diane doesn't move. She doesn't really have a choice really, but she holds her head high, looking Ric in the eye without breaking away.

"I didn't really keep in contact – I know, I'm sorry. I…I wanted to get away from everything here – from Abra and the mess he dragged me into, from Sutherland and his continual interference…and from you." He's being honest, she'll give him this.

"Well I'm so sorry to have still been here when you returned," she shoots back, feeling her heart drop a little. Part of her expected him to tell her that he loves her still – but that's too Ric Griffin for Ric Griffin, it would seem. Maybe he has changed.

Ric shakes his head, and it thrills her to see that she's riled him: he's angry now, and usually when he's angry he'll say what he means.

"I didn't mean that – you know I didn't mean…I was trying to give us both some space, after everything that's happened. It wasn't intentional, what happened – I had thought…"

"You had thought that I'd be waiting here for you when you got home, after I'd pretty much told you that I wanted to be with you?" Diane spits out, finishing his sentence. "And how nice that must have been for you, coming home with a new fiancée to find old reliable Diane is still here, still waiting for you. Did it make you feel special?"

His eyes flash in the way that only Ric's eyes can, and he's crossing the rest of the theatre before Diane can say another word, but she knows she's done it. She's riled him to the extreme, to somewhere only she has ever managed to get him. None of his ex-wives, not even any of his children – hell, not even Zubin – can get him this mad.

His hands are on her shoulders, and he's pulling her towards him just slightly – just enough so that they can maintain contact, so that he can show her that he's hers, maybe?

"Don't say that again," he growls into her ear, his voice almost inaudibly quiet. "What exactly is it that you want to hear me say? That I've loved you for ten years, that I'll probably love you till the day I die, that I wish that you had chosen _me_ over Owen? That no matter what, I'll do anything to protect you? That I wish I'd never asked you to marry me all those years ago because it was too soon, and that maybe if I hadn't we'd still be together now? Is _that_ what you want to hear, Diane, because I don't know what else you could want!"

There's tears streaming down Diane's face, and she tries to wipe them away because she swore to herself that she wouldn't cry at him again. He's said everything she could have wanted him to say – and more, because at least she knows that he still loves her, that he will always love her.

"I…I don't know," she whispers.

Ric rests his forehead against Diane's and, in that moment, she feels nothing but pure, elated joy. This is all she's wanted for months now – a return to their relationship pre-Holby, pre-proposal, pre everything that made them screwed up. And all she wants to do is damn Thandie, damn the engagement, damn everything that keeps them apart.

"Say you want me," Ric mutters, his lips mere inches from hers. "Please. I can't…I can't do this to Thandie unless…unless we're real. Unless, this time, it's forever."

She knows that this is wrong, so wrong, that she's doing to Thandie what Owen and Chrissie did to her – but she doesn't care. In this moment, all she can think about is the love she has for Ric, and the love he has for her, and nothing else seems to matter. Nothing else should matter.

"I…I want you. I probably have always wanted you," Diane murmurs, and there's nothing else to say: this is it, this is either the start of them or the confirmation that nothing will ever, ever happen between them again.

There's a pause which feels like an eternity, and Diane can tell that Ric's weighing things up. He loves her, sure, but can he really hurt Thandie? He must love her too, after all – they're engaged.

The pause goes on and on, but maybe it's only a split second: she's lost all concept of time, as she looks into Ric's eyes, waiting for him to kiss her, waiting for the confirmation that _one_ element of her life is about to get better.

And then the pause is over, and he's kissing her, and she's kissing him, with his hands in her hair and her hands on his back, under his jacket, pushing him closer to her. Their combined weight pushes them against the operating table, and somehow Diane's sitting on it, her legs wrapped around Ric's waist. She's gulping him in, committing every second of this kiss to memory – just in case he changes his mind, just in case this is a goodbye kiss.

He's hers and she's his, and, finally, the will-they-won't-they nature of Ric and Diane's relationship is over.

She breaks the kiss first, pulling back so that she can look in his eyes, a smile on her lips. She's still angry, of course she is, but it's currently buried beneath the wave of love which has overwhelmed her.

"Wow," she murmurs, biting her lip.

"I love you," Ric says, his voice hoarse and raw, his eyes burning holes into Diane's. "I love you, and I need you, and I want to be with you…I just…Thandie."

"What do we do?" She's scared to ask this because this could be it, this could be Ric saying that he chooses Thandie over her.

"You do nothing," Ric replies, his hand moving to cup Diane's cheek. "I'll…I'll take her to my office, break it off with her. It'll be a bit easier with her working on AAU, at least we won't all be together. Would you wait in here whilst I do it? I don't want her to see you and immediately put two and two together."

Diane nods and smiles and laughs and cries all at the same time, because it's finally happening, they're finally going to be together – it's finally the turn of Ric and Diane.

"Okay, well, I'll see you soon?" Diane says, her tone questioning because there's still a chance that this might all be one huge misunderstanding.

Ric reaches into his pocket and removes his keys – and hands them to her. "You can count on it."

They kiss once more, before Ric heads to the door, ready to officially end things with Thandie, and on the way out, Diane shouts after him, "when you come back, we'll be having a word about this supervision lark."

"Oh, Ms Lloyd, I'm sure you'll appreciate my idea of supervision."

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Please, please let me know what you think of this!


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